Shari’s VBAC Freebirth
Graces Birth
My pregnancy with Grace was pretty textbook.
I regularly saw a private OB and was accepted into the MGP at Wodonga hospital. Being a Registered Nurse, I believed that this would give me the best outcome due to the “continuity of care” I thought I was going to receive.
We did Calmbirth classes & Kerri-Ann became my biggest port of call.
When attending all my MGP appointments, not once did I have the same midwife.
At about 36 weeks pregnant, I had a midwife telling me
“well, this is how we do it here”
when I shared how I hoped our birth would unfold. I did all the things like a good girl - had the GTT, all the scans & all the tests. I did decline the GBS screening.
Alas, I could not stay pregnant forever. I had decided I wasn’t going to have my baby with the MGP after the Midwife wouldn’t listen to my birth plans and told me how it was going to be.
At 39+6, I had an un-consented stretch and sweep during a vaginal examination. The VE I had consented to was to help decide on induction methods, should I require an induction. That night I had some extremely painful prodromal labour lasting maybe 4 or 5 hours and only resulted in a lack of sleep.
At 40+1, I had some Acuneedling & the following night at 40+2 at 12am, I woke to my waters breaking in bed!
Excited to meet our baby, I got up and showered & called the hospital (first mistake).
Within an hour contractions started and we’re 2-3minutes apart. I laboured at home in the shower until just after 4am and then decided to head into the hospital, as my contractions were so close together.
I thought this must be a quick labour (LOL)….Arrived at the hospital at 3cm.
I utilised shower, bath, tens machine and birth ball.
I was making good progress but Ooft, it was hard work. Grace was posterior and her labour was by no means a walk in the park!
With every shift change came new Midwives, more VE’s, more people telling me THEIR issues regarding the length of MY labour.
The pressure:
At about 7pm, I was 9.5cm and I caved to an epidural & pitocin, to quote: “..hurry things up. We’ll give you an hour”.
An hour went by with no cervical changes, however, now that Grace was receiving the effects of the epidural and pitocin, she began having decels.
Then the projections:
“Why don’t we just go have a ceaser now, so you can meet your baby. You gave it a good shot but you’re tired.”
“If we wait any longer it will be the middle of the night and we have to call theatre staff in and they’ll be tired.”
So, on the 14th of July ‘22 at 10:19pm, Grace Peggy entered the world via C-section, under the fluorescent lights. She was put on my chest within about 2 minutes, with around a 30 second delayed cord clamping.
So the start of many sleepless nights.
Why did my body fail me?
What did I do wrong?
I craved answers to why things happened how they did. “At least you & your baby are healthy” I kept hearing…but boy, I was far from it. I requested my notes from the hospital, I read them and I cried. But I was at peace.
My body didn’t fail me, the system failed me.
I can’t go back and change my birth, but I can change how I would navigate the system when we were ready to conceive again.
I breastfed Grace up until she was 1yr & 9m. I was about halfway through Ardie’s pregnancy when my milk had began to dry up. Grace self weaned and it was beautiful and heartbreaking. My little girl was growing up.
Prior to Ardie’s pregnancy, in October 2023, we had an early miscarriage. I was devastated, but I also recognised that I didn’t feel like I was ready to go through another pregnancy and birth just yet.
I still had some things to work through.
Ardie’s Birth
In December ‘23, we were again blessed with those 2 pink lines. I stayed fit and active, running 2kms three times a week for the first trimester. I continued my PT training 3 days a week and ate well.
I felt like I could achieve anything, and low and behold I could!
Again, Ardie’s pregnancy was pretty textbook, he was doing all the right things.
I engaged in private midwifery care and saw them for all my antenatal appointments - this gave me a lot of peace of mind after our miscarriage.
I declined the GTT.
I declined GBS screen.
I declined the 3rd trimester scan.
This scan was suggested to “make sure you’re not having a big baby, even though we know you’re not going to”.
As my pregnancy continued, I knew there was no way I could have my desired birth in the system. I cried many times.
“I’m strong, but I don’t have it in me to fight. I shouldn’t have to fight to have my baby healthy”.
At 22 weeks I asked Cully (my husband) if he’d support me to have our baby at home. To my surprise he said yes!
There were lots of ‘but what if’s’…I’m not a midwife” and “I support you, but I can’t live without you”.
By about 30 weeks, we’d fully committed to freebirthing at home. A homebirth midwife wasn’t financially feasible and we’d left it too late. I had reached out to a few different doulas, but nothing felt right.
I’d envisioned birthing our baby boy in our loungeroom, as the sun set long before he was conceived, back when our home was just a steel frame.
At about 38 weeks, I had a friend message me to ask how things were going, and to offer support through labour if we wanted.
We’re so grateful for our sweet friend and she was a pivotal piece to our birth puzzle.
Weeks of prodromal labour went by. My body felt done at about 36 weeks and I was convinced I was having this baby “any day now.” About a month later, at 39+4, again my water broke in bed just after 10pm - this time just a small leak.
I thought I’d pee’d myself. I got up, went to the toilet and went back to bed..rolled over and leaked a bit more fluid. Within a few minutes contractions began, again 2-3 minutes apart from the start, but manageable.
It was showtime.
I’d done this before and I was prepared to be in for the long haul. I let Cully sleep and went and had a quick shower and put on the tens machine. I had the birth pool set up in the second lounge behind the baby gate. Between contractions, I flipped it over and put it on my head to get it over the baby gate without waking anyone up. I put the birth pool into position, put my affirmations on the wall and set up a mattress on the floor where I hoped to try get some rest.
At around 1am, I let our friend know that I was in labour and she headed over. We let Cully sleep until about 3am, I needed him to have had some decent sleep before we were in the thick of things.
Grace woke up not long after Cully woke up and rode her horse around the house for hours, reading books, playing with blocks and asking to come swimming. She kept telling me “baby is coming soon”. She stayed with us labouring until about 8am, before her Nanny picked her up, and promptly fell asleep with her face in her breakfast.
We moved from the bath, to the toilet, to leaning over the couch or kitchen bench. I used the tens machine and a birth comb in each hand.
I didn’t eat or drink much in Grace’s labour because I threw everything up, which I was worried would happen again. Sure enough, it did & I filled numerous spew bags. I got to a point of just trying heaps of different foods till I found things I could stomach.
Small amounts of honey on a spoon, gummies, frozen coconut milk bites. Half strength electrolytes was my saviour, anything too strong I would throw it back up.
We watched the sun rise.
We laboured and we began to watch the sun set again.
I was feeling really pushy in the birth pool, but was having horrific left hip pain whenever a contraction would come.
I was having coupling contractions and I begged Ardie for a break - I couldn’t keep doing this (spoiler alert, I could and I did!). He would give me a break and I’d have about 2 minutes of solid sleep on the side of the pool - absolute bliss! The contractions would start again until I again I would beg him for a break.
Literally, out loud.
“Baby boy, please give Mumma a break.” We didn’t find out the gender, but I just knew it was him all along.
I was beginning to feel very defeated in the pool, so we decided I’d get out and try standing or all 4’s. From there things progressed & I was able to effectively push and my hip pain wasn’t anywhere near as bad.
In my loungeroom, on the 18th of August ‘24 at 6:13pm, as we watched the sunset, Ardie was born.
All 3950g of squishy boy! He was perfect.
I did it…We did it.
My body was not broken, the system was broken.
His birth didn’t change Grace’s birth, but he helped heal us, all of us.
Through all the:
“But you couldn’t do it last time..”
“What if you bleed to death..”
“You’re brave, but what if something goes wrong”….
…Cully thanked me for pushing to keep us emotionally & physically safe.
I have absolutely no regrets.
I got lots of comments on how brave I was, having a VBAC at home. But I wasn’t brave - I was traumatised and scared of the system. I’m not brave, I just did what I had to do, to keep me & our family safe.
We did transfer to hospital a couple of hours after birth, due to a 3rd degree tear. One comment from a Nurse at the hospital that stuck with me was:
“..usually they wouldn’t let you labour that long”
& this is exactly why I stayed at home - where we were safe.
Shari’s three tips:
You don't need that $365 Charlie Crane rocker - instead invest your money into the birth that YOU want! Think Homebirth Midwife, Private Midwife support in hospital, Doula, Postpartum Doula.
Don't let other people's fears, views & opinions be your problem. If that's how they feel, then that's their problem. Do the inner work. I suggest starting this prior to conception.
It's never too late to change your birthing plans, if it doesn't feel right for you. Birth where you feel comfortable & at whatever gestation you feel comfortable with.
You are in charge.
Shari’s Resource list:
Dr Melanie Jackson's podcast - www.melaniethemidwife.com/podcasts/the-great-birth-rebellion
Birthing at home Podcast- https://www.birthingathome.com.au/
Australian VBAC stories Podcast - https://australianbirthstories.com/
Bonnie Pearce from Alpine Sacred Women - https://www.alpinesacredwomen.com/
Ina May's Guide to Child Birth - Book
Hazel Keedle, Birth After Cesarean book - https://www.instagram.com/hazelkeedle/
Jane Hardwick Collins, Ten Moons book - https://janehardwickecollings.com/product/ten-moons-the-inner-journey-of-pregnancy/
Wild Pregnancy and Free Birth Australia - Facebook group
My most favourite resource was my baby - talking to him often! Listening to him & my body!